| 1. | F40ph Friday | | What replaced Fur Friday at /b/ "It's F40ph Friday" Bob cried. Let's post some trainz! In an effort to combat furfags on the chans, the F40PH should be used. The best way to do this is to flood any Furry Friday thread with a directory dumper, and the obligatory spammers battlecry, YIFF IN HELL. Posting the F40PH on Fchan will result in a Foxpenis Shaped Banhammer being shoved in your ass (even just posting F40PH in the text field will result in an auto ban), so we suggest you do this as often as possible. The F40PH in ACTIONf furries were firm-bodied 19-year-old girls with nice tits in bunny suits and a preference for the better sex, there'd be no need for an ED article and we'd be too busy to write one. Unfortunately, furries are the opposite: they're out to damage and scar your soul by sexualizing childhood cartoon characters and dressing up in animal costumes to have sex in. Gay sex. And it is always gay sex, regaurdless of gender. Furfags give everyone a reason to ridicule their sad fucking lives. Its simple really.     What's most disturbing are the intricate full-body suits(known as fursuits) that every furry will eventually build and most will only have sex while wearing them, often while using tickling furshampoo. Furry artwork tends to depict severely disturbing, overtly sexual interspecies relationships. Many furfags claim to be born that way but they're actually just delusional and chose to be furry to fit in with someone, because every other subculture rejected them for with them unless their flabby zit-covered bodies are completely cloaked in a 50/50 cotton-poly tiger costume. However, it should be noted that after a hard night of drinking, a young woman in Santa Cruz was convinced to actually let a Furry stick his zit-ridden cock in her vagina. Fortunately, she came to her senses once he began to make cat noises, and left the son-of-a-bitch with blue balls. After battling the psychological trauma from the ordeal, she committed suicide a month later. Although the Furry went on to claim more unfortunate victims, he ended up dead after trying to carry out a vore fantasy involving a fox, a cow, and one very unlucky chicken.  Some furfags claim that they have no sexual interest whatsoever, and simply enjoy walking around their house in a dog suit when no one else is watching. This is a lie since all furfags are drawn to sexual perversity regardless of their species. Furfags only say this kind of thing when they are threatened with death or when they find new victims for "surprise yiff". Just to be on the safe side, if a furfag ever tells you they're celibate, you should castrate them to ensure their celibacy. Furfags claim that their "furfaggotry" is an innate part of themselves. Sometimes they claim it's a "totem animal" in order to give themselves the same legitimacy that druids have in D&D. Sometimes they claim that they were actually an animal in a previous life, and have been reincarnated. Sometimes they claim that they're RILLY RILLY HONEST AND FOR TRUE a lycanthrope, who can magically transform into a real, actual animal. Usually it's the other way around and that they're RILLY RILLY HONEST AND FOR TRUE an actual animal with the magical ability to turn into a socially maladjusted loser and get stuck that way for the rest of their miserable lives. Unfortunately, they continue to shun and reject the guaranteed cure for their condition which is of course, an hero. The innate natures or totem animals or whatever delusional justification they provide almost always (99.9999% of the time) take the form of an animal that is either cute (rabbits, mice, woodchucks, etc), dangerous (lions, tigers and bears, oh my!), or rife with dark symbolism (wolves, snakes and ravens). Naturally, these traits are rarely possessed by the furfag's "human nature". Furfags who claim less flashy species (such as banana slugs or an anchovies) as their totem animals are almost non-existent, but only because they haven't found a way to anthropomorphize them for their sick sexual fantasies...yet. In fact, the only known exceptions are the furfags who deliberately chose a non-standard totem animal so they could (A) be socially-maladjusted outsiders even within the Furry community (and if that doesn't make you flinch, nothing will); and (B) say "NUH-UH" to anybody who makes the observation outlined in this paragraph. These faggots also got the 100m GET, which proves that furries truly are the cancer that is killing /b/. Recruitment This is what happens when kids are raised on a diet of Disney cartoons that depict animals with love interests are constantly told to play with talking teddy bears, or watch Tiny Toons, Animaniacs, and that shitty cartoon animal Robin Hood movie to severe excess. The Furry subculture can also be viewed as the product of an unholy miscegenation of hick and nerd culture, much like how HIV is thought to have developed as a result of humans fucking chimpanzees, because animal fucking is a popular hick pastime and anime is a staple of nerd civilization. Despite opinion that it's the internet that creates furries, furries existed and still exist even without the internet. Through movies, cartoons, Halloween costumes, toys, games, and other things that parents innocently expose their children to, children develop an interest in furry. So, furries tend to develop before being exposed to the internet, though it is only when exposed to the internet that they realize "OMG! THERE'RE OTHERS LIKE ME!".
Furry Art  Some furries claim they're just in it for the art. True or not, many furries consider themselves "artists". Naturally, their "art" runs the gamut of things that wouldn't pass muster in a 4th grade class to things that make you wonder why they're wasting their time in Furry.
DeceptionsOf course, this is exactly what they want you to think: that they're just a bunch of artists. The reality is much worse. In real life, furries have two traits, that they'll try to cover up as best they can, but are always present: they're sad, pathetic losers, and they do horrible things. Quite a few furries harbor a gigantic persecution complex because of this, and they will often explode into brick-shitting, BAAWWWWWWWing rages when called out on their bullshit by other, more jaded furries who are well aware that their fandom is nothing more than a gigantic collection of shitty smut cobbled together by hormonal 16-year-old who have taken maybe one art class and draw horribly detailed cocks on uninspired, trite designs of the creatures furries love so much. Naturally, all this art is highly prized amongst furries, with mediocre artists charging upwards of $60 USD for one badly sketched line drawing. Furs will often shell out large amounts of money to multiple artists at a time so that their laughably bad pornography is mass-produced and displayed as quickly as possible, in the hopes that the masses will jerk their smegma-laden cocks and finger their shitty assholes to their hyper-cocked wolf-taur fucking another creature in the ass with one of their dicks. This leads to their characters being featured in more works of smut from other artists (see examples DoralLizard, Zig Zag, ShowKaizer, Aurenn, Roxikat to name a few examples). The following is a lengthy rant from one furry that perfectly embodies their nature of deception. The author directly mentioned ED and appears to have a dislike of this site, from his previous rantings.
The Truth About Furries (in video format!!) Sad Furries are the scum of the earth, and the surest candidates for dying alone. The furry fandom will accept ANYONE, and hence attracts the worst and most pathetic people in the world. Furries are so ugly that they make Brian Peppers look attractive, so stupid that they make aspies vigorously deny being them because they're the only thing stupider than them, and pathetic beyond compare. FAIL doesn't even begin to encompass how bad furries have done in life.
HorribleIf they were just pathetic, like nerds, they could mostly be passed over without much of a thought, and maybe even pitied. But in addition to being failures at life, their minds are constantly thinking of more perverted things to do, which show up not only in their REAL art (the kind they put in a separate folders and tag with so many warnings you wonder why they put it OL on the first place), but in the things they do IRL.
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2.15.2009
FurrFags, Furries, Yiff Yiff Yiff in hell
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