A Realization

So... This has been an interesting experience for me...

I read a pretty EPIC love story recently and really enjoyed it a lot. This, however promising, is not my normal taste. I have been in Aw at WHY? why would I enjoy a book like this so damn much. It had me thinking for the past 2 days. Wondering.

Finally I realized it. I want that. I want that type of love in my life and have never found it. I am going to have to tell someone I care about a lot that there is no chance of taking it any further, because, frankly, I just don't feel that deep, unwavering connection with her. I tried I really did but its not there like I believe it could be. Something. Something is missing and I cannot find it in her.

I really am looking for a really down girl. That kind of chick that will be there for me through the thick of it and never allow her feeling for me to sputter. I need that type of bond that is always written about but rarely ever truly found.

This lack of a real, powerful love, I think, is Why I have been so BLAH... Well no longer I'm off to go get it... ladies look out The Little Blue Pimp Is Back !

Update

If you can read this then you know what I updated....if not Joke is on you cause I will not be posting public blogs any more !

I updated my preferred blog reader list so only people I consider close personal friends that I TRUST can read this ... any way if you can read this look at my last post and make me feel better...

Things that will make me feel better

Getting laid
ALCOHOL
Dead Baby jokes
Dead Pixie Jokes
Bunny Porn
Gangsters wearing TuTus
you know just the basics

Shock and Aw

So This Fucking Sucks Ass Hole ~

So... The Events of today have changed my life on a fundamental level... You see, a few months back at the end of July I moved to Cali on a chance. I took this chance to be with someone who professed her love for me after all the years we have known each other. So I packed my stuff in my car, quit my job, and drove half way across the country.


Now, all of a sudden she breaks up with me, and tells me I have a week to move out. I'll be fine thanks for asking I'm a soldier, these shoulders hold up so much they wont budge, even if my collar bones are crushed and crumble I will never stumble.


I'm going to be traveling again.. I'm going to Florida, my mother said I can stay with her until I ship out to boot camp!

This still leaves me with the question. Why? She gave me a laundry list of reasons, but none of them had the ring of the full truth to them... they are were valid in some way, I guess. When you know someone for 8 years you become able to read there eyes, and her eyes said there is more to it then just that which was said.

I think the monkey on her back has not left yet. I think she is holding on to something. Something from the past, but I think I will never truly know about this...

After the rant I leave you with this.... when Life gives you lemons have lemonade, but when life gives you limes have tequila. I think I need a drink.