How it went down part one

So. I'm nit gonna feed you a pack of lies to try and make my self look good. I'm just going to tell you what happened.

you see it was 1996 and I was 11 years old. My mother was on every drug you can smoke. My father was off in lala land.

One day dad showed up. He took me away. Moved me to Maryland. We fought alot. He drank.

I did aweful in school.
No friends.

I grew up fast though. By 8th grade there was alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, and pussy. To young to understand. To blind to see.

It was the summer before the end. The sumner before highschool was easy going good times. None of which I remember. But that summer leaves me with a warn fuzzy feeling when I try to remember.

I started highschool that september. It was wild. I met the hippie and stream and frenchy and laylay and leecy and nykaen. I met every one. I hung out at the mall. I remember LEDs first party. It was wild. 3 days of super smash bros. Melée. Drinking. Pot. Coke. Girls. Sex. Party hard.

It was like that. Every weekend for a while Monday thru thursday with leecy. Friday Saturday with the party. Sunday at uucr. Life was fun. For a while.

Then it went sour.

You see the drugs and the parties took over. I was out of control. I did as I peased and my father didn't like it. I got beat. Bullied. Treated at less of a person.

I hated him. He met my now ex stepmonster. They married. At a bar. I drank alot. Partied alot. We moved but nothing changed.

Now in the present

Here i am
Never giving up

A job in a
South town
A house
On a snowy street
A thought

Another bottle
"maybe I'll forget..."
I think
"to remember"

More days
More work
More loanly
More vodka
More ... Bullshit

A new season
A possabolity
A choise
A person

A firmiliar city
A lake
A hill
A street
Another south town

A choice
A desision

Pills
Not for me
Passed out
Not me

I just drink

Alot

A remarkable human
We talk
We laugh
We lo..
We never

Say it
It's understood

But still
My soul is lost
And
So
Am
I


Im just not whole
I really don't know what to do

Even now, vodka on ice, I really don't know why. What? How? Wow. A little drunk but cohierent.

A cat
A pixie
And a family

My soul
Lost
I must
Find it

Who knew

3 years now... Well almost that is.

I never saw it comming
A freight train
I was flattened with just a smile

A beautiful smile
Firey
Confident but somehow fragile.

So wanted
Needed
But lost


Once again alone
I travel
Light
Money
Drugs
Friends
Party
Missing
A phone

A tilt a whirl

A new beginning
I took the chance
Everything I ever loved
MINE again
And free
A new town
Home.

I loose sight
I loose will
I misunderstand
I let it go
A plane
A lost identity along with it.

Por siempre' I say
We part
You fly
I die.

I'll never live again

A downward spiral
A lost job
A home with it.

Another new
Town
Job
People

Still lost
Still

A fight
Hate
Drugs
Kids
Work sex
Sex
Sex fighting
Another fight

Vacation
And a carnival

A bus
Some scooters
A bunk
A L C O H O L!!!

Teardowns
Setups
Lights
Music

A fight
Alcohol

A bus
A friend
Old town
Old people
New people

Across the hall
Fun fun fun
The Internet
A clown
Alcohol
Alcohol

A friend
A bus
A person
A new
A nother

All the same
Always lost
Always remembering
Always your name