Unequivocal Truths of irreversibility

Well I have realized a few truths in the last nights sleepless thought of anxious pain.

The first of which is that I do not feel like I should about someone I AM in love with... its just not a strong enough love for me to try any more, I MUST LET HER GO !


second; I know who I do love enough to try VERY VERY VERY hard to show that too in hopes that it may not be too late...

third; Loneliness sucks... I woke up at like 830, after about a total of 3 hours of sleep, and just laid there until 1130 not wanting to get up and face the day... then I wrote this and went out

Peace...

P.S.

You know who you are and I am unequivocally in love with as I have never felt before... you have always been there for me through think and thin, through good and bad, you care more about me then any one else and I love you deeper then I ever thought I was capable of loving any one.

A Realization

So... This has been an interesting experience for me...

I read a pretty EPIC love story recently and really enjoyed it a lot. This, however promising, is not my normal taste. I have been in Aw at WHY? why would I enjoy a book like this so damn much. It had me thinking for the past 2 days. Wondering.

Finally I realized it. I want that. I want that type of love in my life and have never found it. I am going to have to tell someone I care about a lot that there is no chance of taking it any further, because, frankly, I just don't feel that deep, unwavering connection with her. I tried I really did but its not there like I believe it could be. Something. Something is missing and I cannot find it in her.

I really am looking for a really down girl. That kind of chick that will be there for me through the thick of it and never allow her feeling for me to sputter. I need that type of bond that is always written about but rarely ever truly found.

This lack of a real, powerful love, I think, is Why I have been so BLAH... Well no longer I'm off to go get it... ladies look out The Little Blue Pimp Is Back !

Update

If you can read this then you know what I updated....if not Joke is on you cause I will not be posting public blogs any more !

I updated my preferred blog reader list so only people I consider close personal friends that I TRUST can read this ... any way if you can read this look at my last post and make me feel better...

Things that will make me feel better

Getting laid
ALCOHOL
Dead Baby jokes
Dead Pixie Jokes
Bunny Porn
Gangsters wearing TuTus
you know just the basics